Can anger really be changed?

Shaykh Bali says — being forbearing (halim) is not something one is born with; it is something acquired through practice. He has shown the way in three steps.

How the scene unfolds

A single remark stings the ear, and in an instant the face turns red and the veins swell. Something comes out of the mouth that leaves a lifetime of regret.

At home, the wife, the children, the neighbors — everyone carries the weight of those words. When the anger subsides, shame comes and settles in.

A Companion came to the Prophet ﷺ and said — Advise me. He said, Do not become angry. The man asked again and again, and each time the answer was the same.

Later he said — I thought about anger, and I saw that all harm lies in it.

The Shaykh's answer

The strong one is not the one who overpowers people in wrestling — the strong one is the one who controls himself in the moment of anger.

The Shaykh has given three steps: reflect on the verses (ayat) that speak of the virtue of hilm, reflect on the hadiths on this subject, and gradually train yourself through practice.

Along with this, make dua — if someone asks for hilm with true sincerity, Allah makes him forbearing. In the Qur'an He says: Call upon Me, and I will respond.

The evidence — those who swallow their anger

ٱلَّذِينَ يُنفِقُونَ فِى ٱلسَّرَّآءِ وَٱلضَّرَّآءِ وَٱلْكَٰظِمِينَ ٱلْغَيْظَ وَٱلْعَافِينَ عَنِ ٱلنَّاسِ ۗ وَٱللَّهُ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

Who spend [in the cause of Allāh] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allāh loves the doers of good; (Surah Aal-i-Imraan 3:134 — Saheeh International)Copy

The Prophet ﷺ said — The strong one is not the one who defeats others in wrestling; the strong one is the one who keeps himself in check at the time of anger. (Sahih Bukhari 6114)

What to do when anger rises

1. If you are standing, sit down until you calm down.
2. If possible, get up and perform wudu.
3. Stay silent at the time of anger — what is said then is often the wrong thing to say.
4. Say repeatedly “A'udhu billahi minash shaitanir rajim,” and make dua that Allah grants you hilm.

Monthly Ruqyah Course

★ 12 live ruqyah sessions ★ A recorded video of every session ★ Separate session notes for every session ★ A diagnosis package worth 500 taka for just 150 taka ★ A chance to consult with the raqi in a group ★ A separate Telegram group ★ A separate discussion group for brothers and sisters ★ Separate sessions for different problems ★ A guidelines and Q&A segment in every session

The course hadiya is just 490 taka. To join, write Session in a message — I will send you the form link, in sha Allah.

Source: Based on a talk by Shaykh Wahid Abdussalam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Qur'an Ruqyah Healing Center