The very flavor of the gathering eats away the amal

Shaykh Bali says — backbiting and tale-carrying are both major sins. And this is exactly how the good deeds one has stored up slip away on the Day of Resurrection.

The difference between the two

Backbiting (gibah) — saying something about your brother in his absence that he would dislike if he heard it. Even if what is said is true, it is still backbiting.

Tale-carrying, or namimah — carrying one person's words to another with the aim of ruining their relationship.

The Shaykh says there are many kinds of backbiting — about the body, about lineage or area, even about the religion. "He doesn't pray Fajr" — even if true, this is backbiting.

There are exceptions too: warning someone against harm from a person, bringing a complaint to a scholar, or mentioning a fault when giving advice about a marriage — these are sincere advice.

The Shaykh's reply

The Shaykh says — whoever goes around searching for the faults of others, let him start searching for his own faults.

It was said to Rabi' ibn Khuthaym (may Allah have mercy on him), "Why do you not criticize people?" He said — "I am not even satisfied with myself." The Shaykh says, people fear Allah over the sins of others, yet feel at ease about their own sins.

If you find yourself in a gathering where backbiting is taking place, stop it — say, "This is backbiting." If they do not stop, get up and leave; the condition for rejecting it with the heart is to leave the place.

The evidence — the flesh of a dead brother

وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allāh; indeed, Allāh is Accepting of Repentance and Merciful. (Surah Al-Hujuraat 49:12 — Saheeh International; meaning of the complete verse)Copy

The Prophet ﷺ said — The tale-carrier will not enter Paradise (Sahih Muslim). And concerning the punishment of the two graves, he said that one of them used to go around carrying tales (Sahih Bukhari).

What to do

1. If backbiting begins in a gathering, stop it; if they do not stop, get up and leave.
2. If someone comes and says, "So-and-so said this about you" — do not believe it, and think well of others.
3. To verify the matter, do not spy — Allah has forbidden tajassus.
4. Do not leave your tongue empty — instead of talking about people, engage in the dhikr of Allah.

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Source: Based on the talks of Shaykh Wahid Abdus Salam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Qur'an Ruqyah Healing Center