Does your child lie? Remove the fear of punishment

The treatment Shaykh Bali gave is so simple that many people don't want to believe it at first — make him safe from punishment.

A familiar scene

The sound of broken glass in the kitchen. Mother comes and asks — who broke it? The little face shakes its head — not me.

In fact, he is the one who broke it. But the memory of the last scolding and beating has snatched the truth from his mouth.

Day after day it goes like this. The parents become worried — the boy is learning to lie, so what now?

Shaykh Bali's answer is not about punishing the lie — it is about where the fear is coming from.

The Shaykh's answer

The treatment for a child's lying is only one — to make him safe from the fear of punishment.

"Who broke it?" — if he says "I broke it," then say: You told the truth, so I will not punish you. Just hold it a little more carefully next time, so it doesn't break. When the fear of punishment goes away, telling the truth becomes his habit.

The second task — let him hear again and again the hadiths about the virtue of truthfulness and the condemnation of lying. Not once, but again and again, until the meaning is fixed in his mind and heart.

Evidence — the command to speak the truth

يَٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ ٱتَّقُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَقُولُوا۟ قَوْلًۭا سَدِيدًۭا

O you who have believed, fear Allāh and speak words of appropriate justice. (Surah Al-Ahzaab 33:70 — Saheeh International)Copy

The Prophet ﷺ said — A person keeps speaking the truth and seeking the truth, until he is recorded with Allah as a siddiq; and by continuing to lie, he is recorded with Allah as a kadhdhab. (Sahih Bukhari 6094, Sahih Muslim 2607)

What to do

1. Tell him beforehand — there is no punishment for telling the truth; then keep your word.
2. Praise the truthfulness, not the mistake; explain the mistake later in gentle words.
3. Let him hear the hadiths about truth and lying again and again — not all at once, but day after day.
4. Tell him — if you are truthful, you will be in Paradise with the siddiqin and the martyrs.

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Source: Based on a talk by Shaykh Wahid Abdussalam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Quran Ruqyah Healing Center