Where Did This Love Creep in From?

Shaykh Wahid Abdus Salam Bali turns the question around — how did it settle in the heart? And from there he points out the way out.

How the Question Comes

A young man says — what should I do, the love of a female classmate or colleague has settled deep in my heart. A young woman says exactly the same thing.

All around us this is now normal — mixed private tuition batches, long chats on WhatsApp and Telegram, going about together after an engagement.

Then the inner battle begins — the heart finds no focus in salah, sleep does not come, studies do not move forward; and yet you cannot tell anyone.

The question came to the Shaykh — how do I get out of this love?

The Shaykh's Answer

The Shaykh asks a question in return — how did it settle in the heart? Surely the eyes went there first; once, twice, three times.

These very glances were forbidden — Allah told both men and women to lower their gaze (Surah An-Nur, verses 30-31). So the very foundation of this love stands on a sin.

The Shaykh's practical advice — if you have to deal with someone of the opposite gender at a pharmacy or workplace, get the task done without looking; in this restraint lies the sweetness of faith.

The Evidence — The Path Belongs to the One Who Strives

وَٱلَّذِينَ جَٰهَدُوا۟ فِينَا لَنَهْدِيَنَّهُمْ سُبُلَنَا ۚ وَإِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَمَعَ ٱلْمُحْسِنِينَ

And those who strive for Us - We will surely guide them to Our ways. And indeed, Allāh is with the doers of good. (Surah Al-Ankaboot 29:69 — Saheeh International)Copy

The Prophet ﷺ said — Paradise is surrounded by hardships. (Sahih Muslim 2822) Lowering the gaze is exactly such a hardship, and the path lies within it.

What to Do

1. Make repentance to Allah and resolve not to go back.
2. In hope that your repentance is accepted, give a sadaqah — sadaqah extinguishes sins. (Sunan at-Tirmidhi, hasan)
3. Keep yourself busy — gatherings of knowledge, memorizing the Qur'an, permissible sports, volunteer work.
4. If you are able, propose marriage; if not, fast — this is a shield.

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Source: Based on a talk by Shaykh Wahid Abdus Salam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Qur'an Ruqyah Healing Center