We Will Meet in Makkah, but How?

Sheikh Bali's answer separated two things — just seeing, and sitting down to talk. The rules for the two are not the same.

How the Question Comes

A father wrote — A proposal has come for my daughter from a young man; we know him, he is religious and of good character, and he lives in Riyadh. He has never seen the girl before.

Meanwhile, the girl has gone for Umrah with her sisters — there is no male mahram with her, but there is a safe group and a supervisor of the trip.

The father's question — Can they see each other while still in Makkah? The older sisters and the supervisor will be nearby anyway. The girl does not wear the niqab.

The Sheikh divided the answer into two parts — seeing and sitting are not the same thing.

The Sheikh's Answer

Since the girl does not wear the niqab, the young man may see her the same way everyone sees her on the street. There is no problem in this much.

But if they want to sit and talk, a mahram must be present — or the man's mother or sister with him, and the girl's mother, sister, or several women with her. The basic rule is that the prospective bride is seen while sitting in the presence of her father or brother; not among people on the street.

If the girl wears the niqab, the matter is different — then her face may not be uncovered in front of anyone except her mahrams and the one proposing. Here, a few words may be spoken in the presence of the brothers and sisters, but the sitting must not be prolonged.

The Evidence — Seeing Her Is Sunnah

انْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَى أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا

Look at her, for that is more likely to bring affection and harmony between you two. (Sunan at-Tirmidhi, the hadith is sahih)Copy

The permission is only up to the limit of need — only as much as is necessary to decide on the proposal. This permission is not for more mixing or long chats.

What to Do

1. Just seeing is no problem — in the same way everyone sees.
2. If you want to sit and talk, keep a mahram with you, and let there be elders on both sides.
3. A niqabi sister's face must not be uncovered — in front of no one except her mahrams and the one proposing.
4. Let the conversation be brief — exactly as much as is needed for the decision.

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Source: Based on a talk by Sheikh Wahid Abdussalam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Quran Ruqyah Healing Center