A Home Cannot Stand Without This One Principle

Shaykh Wahid Bali says: a husband should treat his wife for the sake of Allah, and the wife should treat her husband for the sake of Allah. Without this foundation, a marriage cannot stand.

How the Scene Unfolds

A whole day of cooking, tidying the house, and exhaustion. In the evening her husband came in and noticed nothing. Her heart felt small.

On the other side, the husband also spends and brings things home, but if he does not receive a "thank you," resentment builds up inside him.

This is how small tallies keep building up. The book is opened on who is indebted to whom, and by how much; and the home slowly turns cold.

So the question is simple: how should husband and wife really treat one another?

The Shaykh's Answer

A husband should treat his wife for the sake of Allah, and the wife should treat her husband for the sake of Allah. Without this principle, married life will not succeed.

The Shaykh says: whatever a wife does to please her husband is worship, whether the husband thanks her or forgets. So do not wait for something in return when you do something; seek the reward from Allah.

If you are praised, Alhamdulillah; if not, do not be upset, because your wage has already been deposited. But if you do it only for praise, the day he forgets, you will break inside.

Evidence: Living Together Kindly

وَعَاشِرُوهُنَّ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ

O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality [i.e., adultery]. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good. (Surah An-Nisaa 4:19 — Saheeh International; meaning of the complete verse)Copy

The Prophet ﷺ said: Accept my counsel regarding women. (Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim) The Shaykh reminds us that a wife is a trust in your home; treat her with ihsan.

What to Do

1. Before doing anything, correct your intention: for the pleasure of Allah, not for praise.
2. If your partner forgets, do not be resentful; your reward is stored with Allah.
3. Do at least one thing every day solely with the intention of pleasing your partner.
4. Keep your partner's name in your duas, for hearts are in the hands of Allah alone.

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Source: Based on a talk by Shaykh Wahid Abdus Salam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al-Qur'an Ruqyah Healing Center