The Words That Make Iblis Happiest

In the narration of Sahih Muslim, Iblis embraces the one who has returned after causing separation between a husband and wife, and says — you are the real one.

How the Problem Begins

The Shaykh says — regarding divorce, the basic ruling is prohibition and caution; it is not permissible without need. This is because Islam wants harmony to remain between the two.

Yet it happens in home after home — in a fit of anger the husband blurts out, "I will divorce you," and the wife says, "If you are a man, divorce me."

Both are then caught up in stubbornness, and afterwards both regret it. The Shaykh says — erase these sentences from your dictionary.

Along with this, he stressed one more thing very strongly — the wrong use of mobile phones and social media, from which countless homes are breaking apart.

The Shaykh's Answer

Haste is the work of Shaytan — no decisions in a moment of anger. When the husband is angry, let the wife wait in another room; when the wife is angry, let the husband stay silent.

The Shaykh reminds us — the hadith "Abghadul halal…" is weak in terms of its chain of narration, yet the sense of the statement should stay in the heart of every husband and wife. And divorcing during menstruation, or in that same period of purity after intercourse, is haram.

Evidence — Good Even in What Is Disliked

فَإِن كَرِهْتُمُوهُنَّ فَعَسَىٰٓ أَن تَكْرَهُوا۟ شَيْـًۭٔا وَيَجْعَلَ ٱللَّهُ فِيهِ خَيْرًۭا كَثِيرًۭا

O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality [i.e., adultery]. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allāh makes therein much good. (Surah An-Nisaa 4:19 — Saheeh International; meaning of the complete verse)Copy

The Shaykh says — for the sake of children and for the sake of the home, one often has to hold on despite dislike; and within that patience, Allah hides goodness.

What to Do

1. Do not utter the word "divorce" during an argument — neither of you.
2. When anger rises, stop, stay silent, change your place — speak only after cooling down.
3. Let the mobile phone be an open page — no secret lock between husband and wife.
4. No long conversations with anyone of the opposite sex without need.

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Source: Based on a talk by Shaykh Wahid Abdussalam Bali

Translation and compilation: Raqi Faisal Ahmed Sabit — Al Qur'an Ruqyah Healing Center